TYPICAL
Hey blog. how have you been? I was looking through old pictures when I realized that I was much more awesome when I was younger. So I’m going to work on getting back to that.
Also, Just figured out who Kate Upton is, why wasn’t I told?
I had an adventure last night at a friends house. His house has a nice patio that looks over the potomac river. We decided to go sit in some chairs on the patio. I unstacked several and carefully chose a wicker chair. It was dark outside, around 830 p.m., so I sat down without thinking to check for stinging insects, all of which I am allergic to.
Of course a fucking wasp is on the arm of the chair, going to town like a business man in Hong Kong, humping the fuck out of my arm with its tiny, and deadly, bellend. So I have to go to the hospital, and of course my friend had given me a ride to the place I was, so he gave me a ride to the hospital as well, since I objected to walking. We waited in the parking lot, waited for me to go into anaphylactic shock.
“You know that the African wasps are spreading around the country now? and they’ll just sting you without being provoked.”
“Awesome, glad to have them aboard.”
“Chris how did you find out you were allergic to bees?”
“Well I got stung while I was riding my bike a couple years ago and I swelled up like one of those dried sponge dinosaurs you buy from the dollar store. then my feet turned white and my hands turned blue and I thought “If only I had lived another day,” before passing out.”
“Was that the first time you got stung?”
“No, the first time I got stung was in the cul-de-sac of a friends street when I was six or something. We were taking turns throwing rocks at a hornets nest and running away. I got bit on the arm a few times.”
“Karma, man.”
Shit, I hope that’s not how Karma works, or some woman is going to snip my manhood off and feed it to me intravenously.
Haha?
Also, I went to a music festival at william and mary, met the lead singer of the mountain goats, and interviewed the band that opened for him, which is here.
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